What is the legal process I have to go through to change my name to Steve permanently?

Originally published Monday May, 30th 2005

What is the legal process I have to go through to change my name to Steve permanently? Never mind I would rather know where I could get a quality pair of Velcro shoes.
- Rob

Dear Robert,

The process of Stevil conversion is a long and arduous one. First, you must file paper work with your local Stevil center showing your intent to convert. You will then receive in the mail (within 2 to 4 days) a conversion package. This package will contain 1 comb (black), 2 feet of rope, 1 hardbound copy of “The Stevil, The Self” and 3 packages of Fruit Stripe gum. No pending Steve may be told what these items are used for. The search for their meaning is a key part of the awakening. Stevilaztion is not to be taken lightly for there is no turning back once the process has begun. The Axis of Stevil asks that all potential Steves take a 24-hour period of reflection before beginning their conversion. Velcro shoes are located on aisle 194 of the Stevil discount warehouse.

The Axis of Stevil

Who is the kid on the Fat Kid T-shirt? He’s totally fat.

- Jim “Lumpy” Watson

Dear Lumpy Watson,

While everybody has within them an inner fat kid, the one true Fat Kid who modeled for the shirt is none other then the Axis’s own resident “Power Fatkid” JR, You can reach him through the AOS forums or send a carrier pigeon to roust #2, AOS Norway.

The Axis of Stevil

What’s chitlins?
- Jesus (pronounced “hey zeus”)

Dear Hey Zeus,

At this time, the Axis of Stevil is not authorized to release this information.

The Axis of Stevil

Why do 8 o’clock classes have to be taught by the most mundane professors?
- Big Rich

Dear Sir Rich ~ Lord of the Big,

First, The Axis of Stevil would like to congratulate you on conquering your land and really swashing those buckles! HEAR HEAR! Right then, The Axis of Stevil has been granted explicit access to the great vaults of Life’s Greatest Mysteries, up to Volume 6. The Axis of Stevil Research and Egg Beater Team used this access to follow-up on your inquiry. Upon looking through countless tomes of records and information about the matters concerning “8am classes” and “moist mundane professors” and the results were less than helpful in the search for your answer. The only results yeilded were for an incident scroll from Rome in 1217 and for a website called College Humor. Upon further investigation we discovered that we incorrectly entered the information for “most”. After correcting this error the search revealed something interesting. It wasn’t a solid answer nor was it even from the tomes. After all of the searching, The Axis of Stevil has decided that its because you didnt register for 10 am classes like everyone else. Also it is requested to ask a question of your Sir, didn’t your parents ever tell you life’s not fair?

The Axis of Stevil

why is Zoe’s last name spelled wrong??

- The Wise One..

Dear Wise One,

Your title is very fitting when you consider your ability to accurately discover and reveal typographical errors, even when they are clouded by derivations from another language, Kudos! It is a little known fact that The Axis of Stevil is a website created to be molded by its viewers. Without exposure to and conversations about others thoughts, feelings and ideas the world becomes a fairly boring place. The same travels through to the web world. A successful tactic in opening the lines of communication is through common topic conversation. Many people who read well, also possess the powers of spelling and will notify the right people of an error, thus beginning communicado. The error you reported has since been fixed, it was our toughest error to be planted and The Axis of Stevil congratulates you on your find. Thank you for demonstrating courage and exercising your right to open communication.

The Axis of Stevil

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