Why is three company?

Originally published Friday December, 16th 2005

Why is three company?


Dear Layzee McNoname,

This is an excellent question, Layzee. It just so happens that December 15th is the day of birth of the revolutionary Jonathan Trees. Never heard of him? Well, sit down, chil’rens and take a journey through the life of a young entrepreneur.

Jonathan Trees was born on December 15th, 1693. He was the first recorded puritan to have a lisp. Normally, people with lisps were burned at the stake (they were thought to be witches), but Jonathan was no ordinary warlock-er, man. Nor was his lisp; he could speak perfect puritan English, except he added an ‘h’ after every’t’ that he spoke. So, we come to the conclusion that he pronounced his name, “Jonathan Threes.”

At the ripe old age of 11, his father, Jacob Trees, passed away from “thuberculosis”. It was customary for a son to follow in his father’s occupational footsteps, so Jonathan became a lumberjack, just like his old man. His exceptional lumber-jacking skills are what saved him from being accused as a warlock. Knowing this, he decided to expand his business. He hired his close friends, Matthew Wood and Mark Bark. These three pre-pubescent lumberjacks established the “Trees’ Company”. Not only were these boys the virtual cookie-cutter for all lumberjack enterprises, but they also coined the phrase “Threes’ Company,” thanks to Jonathan’s legendary lisp.


The Axis of Stevil

Contributors: Dick (Featured image), Stevil (Copywriting), Graham (Copywriting)

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