Why is a dime worth twice as much as a nickel when it is half the size? The Mint says a dime used to be made out of silver which is more valuable than nickel, but they are now both made of base metal. Why then is a dime more valuable since it is smaller?

Dear Whatserface:

Do not believe what The Mint or The Chocolate groups tell you! Both organizations rely on gullibility and brainwashing for recruitment methods. We, at the Axis of Stevil, are here to provide the truth behind this great currency conundrum.

First, you must know that dimes and nickels were not coined at the same time. Dimes came to exist in 1796 while nickels rolled in around 1866, seven decades later. When the dime was first revealed, it was the size of a major league softball. It was virtually a 4.6lb ball of extremely cheap metal, thus the use of a dime wasn’t practical in the least. People rarely spent dimes, and the value of a dime became even smaller. The utter aversion of the dime coined (no pun intended) the phrase, “I don’t give a dime!” which was an exclamation that meant that the situation did not matter to the person stating. After 70 years, the titanic ten-cent tender’s value decreased by half. Those who printed dimes realized how useless a dime was, and made it smaller. The old dimes were first given to an elderly blacksmith that went by the name Nick. His newly appointed job was to take the old dimes and hammer them to a smaller size. “Have a bunch of dated dimes that you need to have flattened? Nick’ill do it.” The advertising sold itself when the time came to christen this new coin.

Regards,
The Axis of Stevil