Injustice No More!

Originally published Friday May, 12th 2006


Having a 9-to-5 seems to be the fate of every Steve at one time or another. The entire American public education system is preparation for monotonous office work. It’s tiring thinking about working for ‘the man’. Everyone must endure many injustices for the good of greater priorities. For example, taking orders from someone younger or having to clean the floors of the bathroom. Yet, there is one injustice we can defeat without the consequence of termination - the smoke break.

Every business - corporate, fast-food, factory - permits at least one smoke break. The allotted five to seven-minute break is imperative for those who smoke. But what about our smoke-free comrades? Why must they continue to toil away while smokers are outside the building, enjoying both fresh and nicotine-laced air?

Not getting that break designated only for the smokers? Fret no more!

In partnership with the creators of Hot Pocket, The Axis of Stevil is proud to introduce a new product. Imirette© - the new edible imitation cigarette. We designed these delicious, flavored cylinders with one goal in mind. For non-smokers to convince even the most rigorous bosses that they smoke. Made with flavored dough, these edible imitation cigarettes feel warm in your lungs and taste great!

Free of tar, Imirette© edible imitation cigarettes won’t cause cancer or stain teeth. The intentional absence of nicotine means “smokers” will only become addicted to more free time. Now anyone can appear to be smoking without the detrimental side effects. Inhale all the appetizing advantages!

Imirette© edible imitation cigarettes packages come in exact replica boxes of tobacco-filled cigarettes. They offer that true cigarette look-and-feel. They come in 100’s and 120’s, for those who want a longer break. As an added camoflauge feature, Imirettes© burn and smell like true cigarettes. No one will know that it’s a delicious multi-flavored edible imitation cigarette!

To boost the flavor offerings, Imirette© has teamed up with your favorite resturants. Flavors include Chili’s baby back ribs, Outback’s bloomin’ onion, and IHOP’s butter milk pancakes. For the healthy non-smoker, low-fat options are also available. Try our tasty wheat, spinach, and green tea flavors. We haven’t left out non-smokers with a sweet tooth. The newest dessert flavors include apple pie and cinnamon bun. You’ll love the layer of glaze and frosting!

Be proud to be a non-smoker and fight the smoking injustice at work. Take that five-minute break and feel the sun on your face. You deserve it for staying healthy and working hard! Imirette© lets the non-smoker enjoy the advantages of smoking without affecting your health!

Buy Imirette© at actual cigarette retailers, as well as local YMCAs.

Contributors: Stevil (Featured image), Stevil (Copywriting), Graham (Copywriting)

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