Mating Habits Of Plastic Animals

Originally published Thursday March, 31st 2005

MatehabitMain

Axis of Stevil not only stands for the arts, but also for our environment. The endangered species list is growing larger every day. It is the priority of the Axis of Stevil Environmental Specialist Committee to take every step to help the lesser-known endangered species. Recent studies show a dramatic change in the number of such species as, The Hi-Ho-cheerio tree, Ewoks, and most importantly the Sanspod Polymerkious.

CASE STUDY

Introduction:

(Sanspod Polymerkious) - A rodent species found in the sub-tropics of the eastern African country Miltonia Bradlesious or as it is called by western cultures Zambia.

Biology and Brief History:

The Polymerkious or ‘Plastic rat’ is an interesting breed. The only mouse with an opposable thumb and journeyman skills in hunting. The Plastic Rat is easily distinguished by its brightly colored pelt. The male Polymerkious spends its days constructing complex, over elaborate traps to impress the female of it’s specious, and capture rival suitors. Captured males must then barter for their freedom by exchanging wheels of cheese.

Impacts:

A prominent byproduct of the Polymerkious’ unique behavior of setting traps is a key environmental necessity. As the Polymerkious sets his traps, an endorphin called Meitnerium is excreted. When released, this endorphin has an extremely high NCFC* count. When combined with atmospheric moisture NCFC create what is known commonly as the O-zone layer. The NCFC’s have many other positive effects on the environment. It is a known plant accelerator, and smells faintly of cinnamon rolls. The average Polymerkious has 15 to 20 grams of NCFCs in their body. A byproduct of this is that upon death Plastic Rats will crystallize into Pyrite “fools gold”.

“Naychloroflourocarbon”: The Ying of atmospheric homeostasis to the yang of CFC’s (found in aerosol products)

In 1992 Sequal Onnnato, a local Zambian farmer, was caught and trapped within a Polymerkious device. Thus prompting the Zambian government to declare war on the ‘plastic rat’. The 8 year genocide of the polymerkious ended in 2000 when they where declared endangered by the UN. It was far to little to late. Their are now only 23 left in the world. Including the clan of eight raised in captivity at the Bellagio Zoo, Nevada. The Axis of Stevil wishes to preserve the majestic beauty of the Sanspod Polymerkious. To raise awareness The Axis of Stevil has released this rare photo of the Polymerkious in the wild.

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