The Axis Of Stevil Presents: P.h.a.r.g. Raygun

Originally published Monday June, 13th 2005


While the field of personal home atomic ray guns, or PHARG is still a relatively new one, this untapped market has been ignored for far too long. Surveys have shown that every day 1-million Americans are in a situation that they feel would be easily solved if they had their own ray gun. With this in mind, the Axis of Stevil has announced plans to bring the Stevil Ray gun to over 50 million households by Christmas 2017. Always a market leader, the Axis of Stevil is the first documented company to issue a declaration to develop and sell a moderately priced consumer PHARG. The Stevil brand Ray Gun will have many uses from self-defense, to cooking small woodland creatures and melting large metal walls.

This won’t be your grandfather’s Flash Gordon ray gun either. Powered by quadraphonic flux generation the Stevil Ray gun will pull photon power from 4 different dimensions at the same time. It’s primary fire will generate a light that can be seen from 6 miles away and will have the cooking power of 17 microwaves filled with Lean Pockets. Pre-orders now.

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