Steven Segal

Originally published Wednesday February, 8th 2006

This illustrious organization was founded on the principle that everyone can be successful and have a voice to speak their ideas, even people who've been given a name as plain as one given to millions each year, Steve! Every so often, The Axis of Stevil takes pleasure in shining the proverbial spotlight on a Steve who shows excellence in their field.

Theres comes a time in every Steves’ life where he is confused for this man, for that The Axis of Stevil bows to you, Steven Segal!

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Today The Axis of Stevil would like to pause and salute a Steve that is truly in tune with his real ultimate power. A master of Aikido, world AIDS spokesman, and sometimes snappy dresser, Steven Segal has harnessed the powers of Stevilization and turned it into a lethal force. Rivaled only by the other great martial arts masters Chuck Norris and Kurt Russell.

Steven was a hyperactive youth. Born the son of a ribbon candy inspector, he spent many a day blitzed out on sugar. In these states, Segal would terrorize the untamed lands surrounding his home in Orange County. One day the wild boy, strung out on rock candy, collided head on with Harry Ishisaka, an Aikido master, who happened to be out on a stroll. Ishisaka instantly became aware of the great potential within the boy and swore an oath to himself to mold Steven into a martial arts master. Ishisaka gave the young man a lifetime membership to his seaside dojo and surf shop. It was here Steven learned the dynamic martial art of Aikido as well the proper techniques for waxing long boards. He trained night and day learning how to harness an opponent’s energy and movement to be used against them. The rigorous training schedule soothed the wild beast inside of Steven and gave him a heightened awareness of the world at a remarkably young age.

By age nineteen he had learned all that he could in the OC. He ventured to the Far East to continue his training. While refining his skills, he created a new form of spiritual combat that harnessed the powers of Aikido and Stevilzation. A pairing of these styles had not yet been attempted by anyone. Using this new technique, Steven swept the Triple Crown of Martial Arts Tournaments and became a celebrity in Japan almost overnight.

When his father died, Steven left the professional fighting scene of Hokido and returned to Orange County to take over the family business. During his sabbatical, Orange County had changed a great deal. His once quiet neighborhood was now crime ridden and consumed by urban sprawl. The first night he was home, Steven was assaulted by four unlucky men. Segal effortlessly put three of the attackers in comas, the fourth died from fright as he witnessed the real ultimate power of Steven Segal. As it happens, the entire attack was witnessed by Michael Ovitz, the well-known Hollywood player.

Ovitz signed Segal to a movie deal before the ambulances arrived on the scene. The rest, as they say, is history. Steven became one of the biggest names in martial arts in the early 90s working in such films as ‘Underseige’, ‘On Deadly Ground’, and ‘Glimmer man’. His name before a movie title guaranteed high levels of trademarked ass-kicking with just a hint of social commentary. Steven had a long run of very successful films until his 2002 pairing with Ja Rule in ‘Half Past Dead’.

While still acting now and then, Steven has slowed down to a more relaxed pace of life. Proclaimed to be a reincarnate Buddhist llama, or tulku, Steven spends much of his time meditating and supporting humanitarian and environmental issues. His efforts have made him an outstanding and iconic Steve, worthy of regard.

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