It is often said that ignorance, is bliss. If this
fact be true, then the sloth is a perpetual orgasm.
Perfectly content to move as slow as possible and
enjoy every second of life. This docile creature
spends its days parading around with useless facial
distractions and sunglasses. He uses these times
to hide his perpetual bliss which he can hide well,
except for the glazed look in his eye.
While this may seem like the ultimate life style,
it sadly is not the case. While wallowing in bliss
the Sloth forgot to become educated, and because
of this he is virtually impossible to communicate
with. Several attempts have been made by scholars
and enthusiasts alike to talk to the beast. For
it seems that many are caught up in the hobby of
poking the sloth to see how it will react. It is
believed that if one debates with a sloth long enough
that he will eventually respond with a competent
reply. Some have even devoted their lives to this
endeavor calling themselves Slothmites, or in the
vernacular "Floosies". They follow the
sloth across the country as it moves hoping to one
day have an interesting conversation with him. Sadly
that day will never come for them because truly
the sloth is ignorant. It is of no loss to society
however, The Floosies were not very bright people
to begin with.
do they call it "getting your dog fixed "
if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?
Resident [evil] Cutie,
ask a very prolific question. Truly, the dog is broken,
but we try to be kind to our animal brothers. So,
we lie to them and say we improve them. You might
fault Bob Barker for this trend, as it is a necessary
ignorance of the language we can afford to appease
creatures so dear and loyal to the human race.
The Axis of Stevil
thought is a myth propagated by greeting card companies.
Well that’s not exactly true, think about it, when
was the last time your heard something entirely original?
Humans are a product of their environment. Who you are right
at this moment is merely a summation of everything you've
seen and done up until now. So how do we keep culture from
continually rehashing itself? An easier task would be to
wrestle alligators on the moon.
CASE STUDY: HIGH
there is a power line, there is a bird sitting on it. What
compels them to rest on these ‘”live wires”?
A recent study by The Axis of Stevil Zoological Intoxicant
Center has determined that birds of all shapes and sizes
can receive a euphoric buzz from perching on these wires.
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