I'm studying abroad in the fall for 5 months, what should I do?

Originally published Wednesday April, 26th 2006

I’m studying abroad in the fall for 5 months and living in another state this summer… should i peace out and not tell anyone where im going or when, leaving mystery and people to ask what happened to that guy?

~Goober

Dear Goober:

The Axis of Stevil, again, thanks you for writing, and commends you on your decision to research the opposite sex. There is no doubt that this will be an enlightening experience. Let us start you off on the right foot for your studies: the term “broad” has been frowned upon for quite some time, now that political correctness is what’s “in” these days. If you wish to correctly examine the opposite sex, you must be able to address them without using derogative language.

To finish your inquiry, first weigh the pros and cons of each way you choose to depart from your current surroundings. All things must come to an end and choosing how you take your curtain call should not be a rushed decision.

Leaving without notice would save you the heartache from long goodbyes and sobbing comrades. However, no one is entirely sure how their absence would affect a community. Disappearing without a trace could worry your loved ones to such extremes as hiring a search party. The police would not be very pleased with you if they spent days upon days searching for you, only to find you kanoodling with exotic creatures. If you select this route, do so with caution and keep in touch with a selective few.

Another option would be to do the complete opposite: to celebrate! Let the entire community know that their time with you is limited and they should enjoy it. The options here are virtually endless. This is your last chance to impact the neighborhood; to “go out with a bang,” as they say. Depending on your social status, this may, or may not, affect your wallet, but remain confident that you will toss monetary totals aside in order to provide you and your community with a finishing festivity.

You are about to embark onto a new step in your life, Goober. Keep in mind that the beginning of this new step will be affected by the momentum of the ones before. Godspeed and good luck, friend.

AskStevilApril26

Regards,
The Axis of Stevil

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