What’s the deal with all of the penguin movies?

Originally published Friday November, 17th 2006

what’s the deal with all of the penguin movies?
- jenni

Dearest Gin-knee,

The following information is highly classified, as it could very well alter existence as we very well know it. This may seem outlandish, but the recent string of motion pictures featuring penguins is no coincidence. The three films, March of the Penguins, Happy Feet, and the upcoming Farce of the Penguins, are only the beginning of an elaborate plan, designed by an underground Hollywood society known as The 12 Penguins. Each year, from 2005 to 2017, there will be a film released featuring penguin protagonists. Year by year, film by film, The 12 Penguins will slowly choke what little life Hollywood has left. After the release of 2017’s horror House of Penguins, in which 2011 Best Support Actress Oscar winner, Paris Hilton, reprises her role of from 2005’s House of Wax. The film makes a lousy $24,560 in box office sales and officially marks the end of Hollywood, as well as the American Dream. Tinsel Town is left in shambles, never to be revived.

Jenni, Jenni, what can you do? Take confidence in knowing that the ever-vigilant Axis of Stevil has all ready developed a solution, with the help of a loyal associate. Until then, The Axis of Stevil’s fight to keep scripts entertaining, and original, will continue to wage, in the present and future.


The Axis of Stevil

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