Originally published Wednesday November, 22nd 2006


Hey Kids! It’s breakfast time, and you’re Ho-Ho-HONGRY! What’re you gonna do? Slam a heapin’ helpin’ of Holiday XtremeMas Pro-Teens Cereal! Let Burly Mills® be your newborn savior from shoddy, stale cereals. The makers of the original Pro-Teens cereal now kick off the holiday season with a delectable four-course dinner, right in your breakfast bowl!

New XtremeMas Pro-Teens features four new freeze-dried, condensed Burly Bits: including savory fried turkey, festive holiday ham, flavorful fruitcake, and casserole. All of this, jam-packed with Porter’s classic P-shaped cornflakes that turn your milk into America’s favorite savory gravy! Pro-Teens now provides up to 250% of the daily recommended amounts of protein, cholesterol, sodium, saturated fat, iron, magnesium, and now, iodine. Why engulf eight McGriddles and fifteen links of sausage, when you can get all that gnarly nutrition in one serving of XtremeMas Pro-Teens Cereal?!

Kids! Join the Atkidz Club for a chance to enter to win a chance to enter an eBay auction for a Playstation 3! After joining, send in nine Pro-Teens proofs of purchase, along with 2.99(USD), for Porter’s Predicament for the PS3, an extreme 3D adventure featuring Pro-Teens protagonist, Porter Proteen. Slowly romp through two amazing life-simulating levels (including Woods and Road) and gather Burly Bits for points; but watch out for pesky Vegans and Scientologists! As always, Atkidz club members receive the Atkidz newsletter, packed with fun games, crosswords, Porter’s trivia challenge, and coupons for Jimmy Dean food product

Contributors: Stevil (Featured image), Stevil (Copywriting), Graham (Copywriting)

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