Crazy Steves

Originally published Wednesday August, 31st 2005

This illustrious organization was founded on the principle that everyone can be successful and have a voice to speak their ideas, even people who've been given a name as plain as one given to millions each year, Steve! Every so often, The Axis of Stevil takes pleasure in shining the proverbial spotlight on a Steve who shows excellence in their field.

In an ongoing effort to promote the everyday entrepreneur Steves, The Axis of Stevil would like to send its warmest memorial to Crazy Steve’s!

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This week, we pause and remember Crazy Steve, a recently departed Steve of the highest quality. A selfless public servant, Crazy Steve crusaded to make affordable fireworks available to everyone. His greatest achievement came in the summer of 1987 when he announced the “$0.99 Brick of Fireworks”. Using glue metric fusion, Steve discovered that he could compact defective firework into dense bricks of celebratory fun.

With the “$0.99 Brick of Fireworks” being an overnight success, Steve was hurdled to the top of the Firework Industry’s Hip List instantly. Orders came in from all over the world; everybody wanted to experience the new wave of fireworks. To meet the increase in demand Crazy Steve built the Worlds 2nd Largest Fireworks Factory, conveniently located near the Georgia border along I-85.

Recently, demand for the “$0.99 Brick of Fireworks” had dropped off with the advent of “Maria’s $0.79 Brick o’ Fire”. Steve predicted that the trend was just another fad and doubled the number of firework bricks he had on hand at his warehouse without being cognoscente of the safety hazard he was creating.

Last Friday an arrant fire fly short circuited and crashed into Crazy Steve’s Firework Warehouse. The sparks that flew from the crash, though minuscule, were enough to set off Steve’s surplus fireworks.

This was the scene the next day

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The whereabouts of Crazy Steve are unknown and he is assumed to have gone up with his bricks. With no descendents we can only wonder what advancements could have come from the Crazy Steve Line.

Know of a great Steve and would like to submit them to be featured? Great! Please contact us. You are here: Axis of Stevil » People » Crazy Steves

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