Lighter Side Of Animal Testing

Originally published Monday July, 18th 2005

GirraffeTest

Animals can only get so many jobs in the modern work force. Being far too brute for the boardroom and too Madison Avenue for the farmhouse, the “working Joe” animal is seen fit for only the fast food industry, Vonage tech support, and product testing. There is a vast conspiracy in this country to keep the animal kingdom relegated to the farm and forest. America is being brainwashed to deny animals the right to work. Animal cruelty groups would like you to think that animals are neglected and treated horribly in cages. This is certainly not the case! The lighter side of animal testing is that it is one of the few jobs where animals are treated as equals.

The average animal product tester makes $18 dollars an hour, has full health care and 3 months paid vacation. While you have been taught that animals suffer indignities on the job, the fact of the matter is that Product labs are generally “by animal for animal” ventures. The only rabbits wearing lipstick there are the ones that chose to. These animals need to work like the rest of us. Why should they be denied? The Meat Packing unions long ago forged a deal with the world governments to keep the barnyard renaissance secret. The public was never informed of the cultural and social evolutions that swept the world in the summer of 1946!

Animals deserve their civil liberties. Currently Australia is the only country to on call for animal rights. The Axis of Stevil has started a campaign to illustrate the ‘Lighter side of animal product testing’. With help and support we will bring the livestock to the free market!

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