Rug'burnz

Originally published Monday January, 16th 2006

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The Axis of Stevil, acting in the public’s best interest, has committed itself to expose the darkest holes and seediest dens of this world’s lesser known underside. When confronting a mission of this magnitude, always remember your core values and multi-task!

With this in mind, The Axis of Stevil teamed up with leaders of the entertainment community and has begun production on a series of public service announcements, movies and video games that show the harsh, gritty reality of crime and violence, that comes from your childhood streets, in a disenfranchised future by breaking the code of meaning found in many television classic. These stirring classics will also provide a much-needed boost for the struggling entertainment industries, whose once-keen instincts were destroyed when a large part of the population embraced a retard named Napoleon Dynamite.

Transcripts of RockStards Don Pickles - Opening sequence premiered at ZordAid 2006. > “When you are young, the world seems like a wide-open plain. Limitless frontiers, a future with dinosaurs and space adventures. It’s not until your grandpa Lou takes 6 bullets, outside of Sammy’s tackle shop that you realize the future is bleak and you just gotta do what you gotta do. > > When Gramps was gone, me and the twins teamed up as the queerest job on N. Highland. I know what you saying, “Tommy your family is the bestest, even ugly twins clean up.” I would not disagree with you but they are fraternal twins; Phil became Phyllis two week after Grandpa died. > > The streets of Csupo are hard. If you are looking for help, talk with my close associate Chuck-C down on Highland. He can set you up with anything your heart desires. He might even get you some of them fine young jail-baits you see on TV. But don’t forget kid, I’m Tommy {explicative} Pickles. I own this town!”

While a definitive release date has not been set, the series is expected to debut in wide release on all relatively fashionable game systems, wavelengths, billboards, currency, telephone pools, park benches, after school specials and microwavable TV dinner meals.

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