Stephen Hawking

Originally published Friday August, 5th 2005

This illustrious organization was founded on the principle that everyone can be successful and have a voice to speak their ideas, even people who've been given a name as plain as one given to millions each year, Steve! Every so often, The Axis of Stevil takes pleasure in shining the proverbial spotlight on a Steve who shows excellence in their field.

In an ongoing effort to endorse the sugject of physics and other universe related things, The Axis of Stevil would like to extend a helping hand to you, Stephen Hawking!

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This week the Axis of Stevil takes a moment to honor a man that has become like Albert Einstein, synonymous with the word physics. Stephan Hawking has achieved harmony within the highest levels of Steviliation.

While most know of Hawking work in physics. Few outside the great order of Steven know of his incredible work within other studies. When he was 4, Stephen Griff’ Hawking struck it rich when he developed a quantum lemonaid stand, linked by a superstrung cash draw. Upon selling one glass in every universe Hawking instantly had money to finance some of the most expensively successful research projects ever known.

Among such projects were his attempts at alchemy. Seeking alternative fuel sources Hawking devised and sketch plans for a machine that could convert gilded new world monkeys into fuel cells capable of powering an off shore oil refinery for up to two years. This break though has allowed for refineries to exists in the most remote of locations without tear of being cut off from power

In 1996, Stephen hawking was admitted into the Guinness book of world records for eating 148 hotdogs in a row. The graduating class of William and Mary was caught off guard by Professor Hawking’s unusual commencement address where after taking the stage he proceeded to shove hotdog after hotdog into his mouth while a pre recorded voice box speech played over the loud speakers.

Charming and witty, Hawking has been married 7 times to 6 different women, Produced 7 records on the Capricorn label as MC Hawkins and created a fathers day sensation when he released his own line of body sprays for men.

To be admired through the ages as a man who looked beyond the smooth venires of our reality Hawking is a great Steve and deserves the spotlight as the featured Steve for this week. His name shall be recorded on the “Plaque of Heroes” located in the “Axis of Stevil’s technodrome of advanced cosmological studies”.

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