Extreme Hoopin'

Originally published Monday August, 8th 2005

extreme-hoppin

Axis of Stevil - Norway‘s Annual Extreme Hoop Fest is quickly approaching. It is Once again that time of the year when the world pauses and looks to Norway for its unique national pastime. The Extreme Hoop Roll! Once a simple children’s game this new extreme sport has taken the thrill of mountain repelling and the challenge of rolling a hoop with a stick. Lead by their Iconic ex-envirospoksperson, Woodsy the Forest Owl. Who proved his mastery of the sports by winning 23 consecutive rounds of extreme Hoop at the “Nukkalodean Blood and GutzFests 99”’

Woodsy, most noted for a series of national anti-pollution PSAs, dropped out of sight in the 90s when the pollution problem was declared solved by Captain Planet, and never spoken of again. Without television work, Woodsy left the states and became chief ranger at a nature preserve in Norway. It was there that he discovered what the locals called “Das Hoop”.

In acts that seem to defy gravity, Hoop players run horizontally along near-vertical cliff faces tethered to top of the cliff by holding a thick bungee cord. They push a large Metallic Hula Hoop called the ‘Gamble’. Players use a regulation sized bow staff and try to push the Gamble along the cliff wall with them as they repel. Completion is done in time trials with the fastest time down winning.

Not for the weak of constitution, this sport is known for breaking the legs and dislocating the shoulders of foolhardy participants. It is a game that takes both physical and mental dexterity. Woodsy spent his days and nights playing the game. He found a reason for living in the sport and soon became a formidable opponent.

In the late summer of 1999, The Axis of Stevil in conjuncture with Nukkalodean hosted the 2nd annual “Blood and GutzFests; An all day alt Rock Extreme sport fest with the main event being a twenty country battle for the title “Champion of the Agro-Slab’. Woodsy the Owl went undefeated for 23 rounds playing for 20 hours straight, a feat that has never been seen before or since. This raw display of talent and determination captivated audiences around the world catapulting Woodsy and the Extreme Hoop to national notoriety. Sadly Woodsy’s fame was short lived, and quickly overshadowed by Tony Hawk doing a 900 on a skateboard. Skateboarding became the intrinsic identifier of extreme sports and Extreme Hoop was left to a loyal but smaller niche audience.

Check out the festival August 28th on ESPN 8 The Ocho.

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