Steve Ballmer

Originally published Friday September, 23rd 2005

This illustrious organization was founded on the principle that everyone can be successful and have a voice to speak their ideas, even people who've been given a name as plain as one given to millions each year, Steve! Every so often, The Axis of Stevil takes pleasure in shining the proverbial spotlight on a Steve who shows excellence in their field.

In an ongoing effort to support doing your best, no matter how goofy you look, The Axis of Stevil would like to salute you, Steve Ballmer!


This week The Axis of Stevil pauses to honor a man that exemplifies the heights of steviliaztion. Steven A Ballmer, CEO of Microsoft (which will herein referred as “M$”), devoted husband, and avid investor, often finds himself on top of odd situations.

As head Steve of M$, Ballmer has overseen the company’s domination of the computer industry, and robust growth in the fight for the home entertainment center.

While always regarded highly in the community, Steve became the subject of great attention within the Stevil community when he was rumored to have purchased a fleet of yellow submarines. The undersea eye-candy was purchased for personal use in his offshore water research and recreation facility. Simultaneously elevating himself to the exclusive tear of submarine owner, and maximizing his Zissou index (z-index).

The evangelic Microsoft spokesman received an honoree doctorate from the American Cheerleading Association. This honor was bestowed upon him for “his many acts of humanitarian aid, in trying to rally the gregariously disabled.”

Always the visionary, Ballmer surrounds himself with the most talented of people; enabling them and himself to mentally channel market force to consistently favor M$.

When M$ was caught playing with space, for market share, The Federal Regulatory commission was unable to find a law barring such practices. Consequently drumming up charges of monopolizing to cash in on M$ earned fortune.

Unfazed by this, Steve Ballmer pledges to continue innovating and manipulating space-time to provide an integrated platform to enable a seamless experiences across a wide range of computing and non-PC devices and services.




Contributors: Stevil (Copywriting), Graham (Copywriting)

Know of a great Steve and would like to submit them to be featured? Great! Please contact us. You are here: Axis of Stevil » People » Steve Ballmer

If you'd like to keep reading we highly recommend or .

Commenting on this piece is encouraged elsewhere on the web with your group of friends. Feel free to use #axisofstevil_steve-ballmer.

There's more where this came from.

There are hundreds of publications queued for re-release and awaiting your affection. Give us your email and we'll send you content every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.