“Stevil said knock you out.”“Ask not what you can do for Stevil, but what Stevil can do for you.”“First rule of Axis of Stevil: Do talk about Axis of Stevil.”“It is the begining of Stevilization”“Gotta Stevilize it!”“Dow Jones Report: Stevil up 3 3/8 in heavy trading”“A Stevil is forever.”“A Stevil is a terrible thing to waste.”“Double your Stevil, double your fun!”“Stevil: Good to the last drop.”“Like a good neighbor, Stevil is there.”“It's Stevil time!”“The Axis of Stevil: PRO-DINOSAUR”“Better living through larger realities.”“Art exists because reality is neither real nor significant.” Novelist J.G. Ballard (Seattle Times)

Steve Ballmer

In an ongoing effort to support doing your best, no matter how goofy you look, The Axis of Stevil would like to salute you, Steve Ballmer!

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This week The Axis of Stevil pauses to honor a man that exemplifies the heights of stevilization. Steven A. Ballmer, CEO of Microsoft (which will herein be referred to as "M$"), devoted husband, and avid investor, often finds himself on top of odd situations.

As head Steve of M$, Ballmer has overseen the company’s domination of the computer industry, and robust growth in the fight for the home entertainment center.

While always regarded highly in the community, Steve became the subject of great attention within the Stevil community when he was rumored to have purchased a fleet of yellow submarines. The undersea eye-candy was purchased for personal use in his offshore water research and recreation facility. Simultaneously elevating himself to the exclusive tier of submarine owner, and maximizing his Zissou index (z-index).

The evangelic Microsoft spokesman received an honorary doctorate from the American Cheerleading Association. This honor was bestowed upon him for "his many acts of humanitarian aid, in trying to rally the gregariously disabled.”

Always the visionary, Ballmer surrounds himself with the most talented of people; enabling them and himself to mentally channel market force to consistently favor M$.

When M$ was caught playing with space, for market share, The Federal Regulatory commission was unable to find a law barring such practices. Consequently drumming up charges of monopolizing to cash in on M$ earned fortune.

Unfazed by this, Steve Ballmer pledges to continue innovating and manipulating space-time to provide an integrated platform to enable a seamless experience across a wide range of computing and non-PC devices and services.

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CHECK OUT THE DJ BALLMER FRESH SOUND BOARD

Writing
Stevil, Graham

Plate 18 · Featured Steves