Thurston's Log 04.19.06

Originally published Wednesday April, 19th 2006

An entry from Thurston’s Log on April 19, 2006:

Dear Axis of Stevil,

Greetings and many warm wishes to you all. Warm being the key word; thank pigness that the weather finally started to get warm. The days have been beautiful and we all know beautiful days make for easy travel. Things have not changed a great deal since my last correspondence. After my entertaining rock and roll experience with Katharsis, I made my way across the nation headed for the West Coast. I was tracking down a rare antique deal that would put me one step closer to completing my Antebellum Heroes Trading Cards Collection. The trail led me farther than I expected. Did you know that Malaysia has the highest number of trading card collectors than any other country? Blew my mind. After procuring my piece, I continued my journey west; so far west that I wound up in your neck of the woods, Greenville, NC.


In town this week for the Spin Doctors Show on the campus of East Carolina University, I was out and about checking out the scene that I had missed so dearly. While reading The East Carolinian, I spotted a front page article about a group of pirates bursting into flames. Hoping to find a shocking tale of 3rd degree burns and disfigurement, I found a local improv comedy group called Swash performing a stunt of self-sacrifice to lure people into attending their upcoming show by setting young chickens on fire and tossing them down their throats. I can’t lie; I was intrigued. I hauled pork to the Wright Plaza at noon, as directed by the parchment, and to my surprise I found a bustling crowd of over enthusiastic people huddling around what seemed to be a cheap folding table. Given the university’s reputation, we will just assume that’s what it was. Seated at this table were several, well-dressed, comical individuals eating chicken wings. Unfortunately for my whimsical imagination they were not on fire, even though the article referenced “100 Blazin Wings”. The gang was determined to eat 100 of these “hot” wings to prove their level of seriousness about comedy. I caught a whiff of the wings and it burned my snout hairs. I don’t even want to know how spicy they were. Sure enough though, they did it; The Swash Improv Group ate 100 Blazin Wings and in just under an hour too. It was at the moment that I was sold. Swash is the cream of the comedy crop. They earned my infinite respect and attention.


After the wings were eaten and the brown milk was consumed, the group immediately jumped to attention and formed in the middle of the plaza. It was like clockwork, but from a clock of madness. There was shouting, gestures, and movement. The group had such great energy; it was certainty infectious. Each person had their own ritual that they performed to one another. As far as I could tell it was some sort of pre-mating ritual because shortly after they concluded, the group huddled together in a tight form and began making more noises. The next thing I knew scenes of hilarity were happening before my eyes. Where do they come up with this stuff? Game after game after game they played. Each one more entertaining than the previous. At one point, just when I thought it couldn’t get any funnier, a Point-Off was declared. Now, I have seen many a walk-off in my day but this was definitely a first. The short female and the male with the goatee and writing on his chest wielded their phalanges at each other trying to take control of the situation. This task proved to be difficult as the other gang members quickly began causing distraction and humorous interruptions of animal calls, baby cries and even a light saber duel. The event concluded much like it started, swift and entertaining. Swash Improv Group truly is ECU’s finest free entertainment.

Upon speaking with them after the event, I was informed of their final show date on their Plaque Attaque tour to be held this Thursday, April 20th at Mudslingers Coffee Shop on Evans St., Downtown Greenville at 8pm. I will definitely be there for that one; I am thinking of inviting my friend Mary, she loves comedy. Swash is awesome and I want to get as much as I can, before the paper wasters and apathetic raffle peddlers run them off campus. Swash is here to stay! But I am not. I did not realize how late it was. I hope to see you soon.

Thurston Z. Pig

PS - Please enjoy these video clips I collected during my outing.

Contributors: Stevil (Featured image), Katie (Copywriting)

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