Via Com Dios

Originally published Monday July, 24th 2006

viacomdios

Viacom, the bourgeoisie of the broadcast spectrum, have taken further steps to secure their monopoly on public thought and opinion. The media conglomerate is making a play to buy the onion.com; transforming the fake news site into another online outlet for the bland watered down messages of pseudo-western ideals. This acquisition stands to benefit The Onion greatly as they’re access to fake news will be near quadrupled.

Readers of The Onion will be dismayed as the merger continues. The political satire and trifle of the site will be replaced with boring send ups of Nick Lachey’s most recent movie, triple underline for maximum clicking convenience. Illiterates should rejoice as article content will play a secondary fiddle to The Onion’s new advertisement system delivering video streamed ads for BET’s 106 and park, Carlos Mencias’ Blog, and endorsements for the newest body spray. Absent from the site will be the driving soul that escalated The Onion to it’s current fame, replaced by flash embedded sheens and progressive color choices.

The feared era of the “monopolistic multimedia economic power” has been upon us for nearly a generation. Five companies control almost everything that gets released on radio, television and print. These giants have long feared the publishing power of the Internet and its ability to permeate unfiltered news and organic thought. Every day, more and more people embrace the Internet as an everyday communication, information and entertainment necessity. Big media is scrambling to buy and commercialize the webs largest properties. Knowing the average web goer only checks out six websites routinely, they hope to control what many consider to be the extent of the Internet.

The Axis of Stevil is grieved to hear the news of another quality website being tainted by the grand illusion of big media.

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