Meanwhile A rat chews through a cable and knocks out New Zealand's phone network for five hoursThe LA Times abandons its "wikitorial" after three days of vandalismA power failure shuts down every train in SwitzerlandThe Supreme Court lets cities seize homes for private development in Kelo v. New LondonEdgar Ray Killen, 80, gets 60 years for the 1964 Mississippi civil rights murders
The week of Monday, June 20, 2005 Jun 20–24, 2005 Week of Mon, Jun 20–24, 2005
Wombats Save Whales
Vol. I • No. 12 11 new works
Publications
Wombat Dating!
Once the wombat was only the subject of lore in Australian pubs, brew halls and keggers. The tale of the wombat speaks of a creature so inept in wooing the opposite sex that it surely is a matter of luck and slippery tree branches that the species has managed to procreate. With the signing of the Marsupial Non-Proliferation Accord, wombats have finally been allowed green cards, allowing them to migrate to America in hordes.
Across America wombats are settling in and starting new lives for themselves. Now on any given night, in a local drinking establishment you might spy a wombat. Be aware that the legend of wombat game is not overstated.
ST/EVIL
HotDog
Publications
Think Of The Whales!
It is a fact of life that bad things happen. Sometimes they happen when you least expect them, such as, while driving to work, waiting for your lunch order, or sleeping near a box of markers. When you encounter these bad vibes, remember to look up and note your surroundings, to be sure that you do not take down anything else with you.
Bad luck was started in the early 1600s when Maria XI tripped over her royal sandwich maker and knocked Sir Walter Raleigh into a regiment of troops practicing their secrete “domino” formation. This single event has cascaded throughout history, spreading and propagating the negative force.
Publications
Get Your Heart Off Your Sleeve And Back On Your Bumper
Get your heart off your sleeve and back on your bumper this week. Are you aware of your needs to express your inner self, but feel alienated by the lack of people reading and responding to your blog, Xanga, or My Space journal? Do you feel people belittle your feelings because you’re too lazy to move a pencil,and write a diary? Express your Pro-Blogging sentiments by slapping this snazzy bumper sticker to your car. Communication is the key to changing someone’s mind. The average human being has 14.3 mind-blowing revelations sitting at stoplights across America. The Axis of Stevil advises you to take your message to the source of new beginnings with bumper stickers decals and large stuffed animals.
ST/EVIL
Ask Stevil
If the moon shifted its orbit to the point where the Earth flooded, why is someone in the kitchen with Dina?
-RJ
Dear Renaldo Janslito,
How are you doing Janslito? Someone you know is in the kitchen cause she couldn’t be anywhere else. Much like 'ring around the roses', the nursery rhyme of Dina was created to warn children of the dangers of working on the railroad. Fossil records have proven conclusively that once there was a hideous beast that roamed the wild wood of the untamed American west. It was a diabolical fuseing of pots and pans and 3 skillets to an unusually large timber breaking bear. The beast was known as Samsonite. If a settler should stray from home after dark she would be easy pray to the beast. It is said that Samsonite would club its victims unconscious and then drag them to his kitchen lair. They would be forever trapped there for reason still unknown.
Regards,
The Axis of Stevil
Featured Steve
Stephen Colbert
In an ongoing effort to support , the cliche, yet extremely important, First Ammendment Right to Stickin' it to the Man, The Axis of Stevil would like to salute you, Stephen Colbert!
Language
"redolent"
re·do·lent; adj.
- Having or emitting fragrance; aromatic.
- Suggestive; reminiscent:
"The wombat is redolent with cologne as he heads out for a night on the town."
Also this week
Tune of the Week
A local fixture in the Greenville, NC live music circuit in the early 2000s, operating as a localized rock/alternative outfit.
Vol. I · No. 12 · Jun 20–24, 2005