Steve Willmont

Originally published Wednesday November, 9th 2005

This illustrious organization was founded on the principle that everyone can be successful and have a voice to speak their ideas, even people who've been given a name as plain as one given to millions each year, Steve! Every so often, The Axis of Stevil takes pleasure in shining the proverbial spotlight on a Steve who shows excellence in their field.

In an ongoing effort to promote sweet revenge for the senseless murder of your best friend, The Axis of Stevil shines a light on Steve Willmont!


Steve Willmont, born Steve Wilzokorzat, is a pinnacle of what law and order strives to be. A broadminded humanist, Steven understands that circumstance can very the line of right and wrong. Having almost a sixth sense for a crime scene, he rose through the ranks of police academy in a few hours.

His love of crime solving is only matched by his desire to collect plastic troll dolls! He holds, at this time, the world’s largest collection of plastic trolls, totaling at just under a quarter million. Purist troll collectors would say this number is inaccurate. The fact that Steve achieved ownership of the last troll producing factory in 1994, turning its entire production over to ‘private use’, boosts his count considerably. Willmont is said to have a room with a large two-story chamber, filled with 20,000 trolls.

His troll production factory was purchased for him by the diamond smuggler, David Seville, as payment for quelling hysterical crowds of chipmunk fans, which routinely appear when the group preformed. When David disappeared, Steve took it personally and swore that he would avenge the death of his good friend who “understood what it was to have a weird fetish.”

The Axis of Stevil takes time this week to honor a tremendous Steve, and would gladly encourage any young child to model his life accordingly.


Contributors: Stevil (Copywriting), Graham (Copywriting)

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