Kickin Urkel Flavor — Issue No. 9

Meanwhile Deep Throat is revealed: Mark Felt admits he was Watergate's secret sourceCanada's Natalie Glebova is crowned Miss Universe in BangkokGermany's Greens open a wiki anyone can editAngela Merkel is chosen to run for chancellor of GermanyMikhail Khodorkovsky is sentenced to nine years in prison

Publications

More Cluck For Your Buck

Do you need somebody murdered? Is a close friend or relative being held captive by an evil tyrant? If so you need the Kickin Chickin! Unlike most assassin groups, the Kickin Chicken will not ask you for a deposit and two forms of ID. Masters of their ancient art, the Kickin Chicken have never lost a battle and always get their man.

Lead by Juan Conroy, the most ruthless chicken to ever walk the face of the earth, Kickin Chickin has made quite a name for themselves in the ultra top-secret world of espoultrynage. He has been linked to 16 separate assassinations, and 24 felonious counts of silverware throwing.

Continued in Publications, Plate 16

Publications

Psa No. 611: Lucid Cheese Tripping

Public Notice: The Axis of Stevil is aware of the new public trend of eating large quantities of premium Jack and Mozzarella cheeses. This is said to induce nightmarish and disturbing imagery in your dreams, a lucid trip if you will. While there is no adverse health risk to this overdose besides your waistline, heart, and ability to operate small-incased vehicles. The mental trauma that ramifies itself after the tripper has awoken is staggering.

Lactosa L. Terriblé, a young man, described his experience to The Axis of Stevil:

"It was a crazy! I was there, but I couldn't move.... Ok and like my hair, it IT was on fire?!

Continued in Publications, Plate 17

Extras

A Tricotomy Of Flavor

The Axis of Stevil, in an effort to improve the beauty of desktops everywhere has released three wallpapers to the public. These pieces will offer something for everyone. This weekend try something new in your routine! Break away from the old! Realize that all things, even desktops are impermanent. The change will lead to a wealth of positive things.

Quadracon: Hybrid of Math & Sony

Math

"Monet for nothin"

Monet

"Nights"

Bird

Ask Stevil

What’s chitlins?

What’s chitlins?
- Jesus (pronounced “hey zeus”)

Dear Hey Zeus,

At this time, the Axis of Stevil is not authorized to release this information.

Regards,
The Axis of Stevil

Ask Stevil

What is the legal process I have to go through to change my name to Steve permanently? Never mind I would rather know where I could get a quality pair of Velcro shoes.
- Rob

Dear Robert,

The process of Stevil conversion is a long and arduous one. First, you must file paper work with your local Stevil center showing your intent to convert. You will then receive in the mail (within 2 to 4 days) a conversion package. This package will contain 1 comb (black), 2 feet of rope, 1 hardbound copy of "The Stevil, The Self" and 3 packages of Fruit Stripe gum. No pending Steve may be told what these items are used for. The search for their meaning is a key part of the awakening. Stevilaztion is not to be taken lightly for there is no turning back once the process has begun. The Axis of Stevil asks that all potential Steves take a 24-hour period of reflection before beginning their conversion. Velcro shoes are located on aisle 194 of the Stevil discount warehouse.

Regards,
The Axis of Stevil

What is the legal process I have to go through to change my name to Steve permanently?

Featured Steve · from May 11, 2005

Steve Urkel

In an ongoing effort to promote progress, The Axis of Stevil would like to salute you, Steve Urkel!

Steve Urkel was a brilliant scholar, inventor, and a connoisseur of fine cheeses. Urkel became a household name on the hit sitcom Family Matters which ran with much success on ABC’s TGIF programming in the early 90’s. His catchy phrases such “Did I do that?” “I don’t have to take this, I’m going home.” and “Got any cheeese?” made him a mildly annoying guy, but lovable nonetheless.

Audiences regularly tuned in for 9 years to watch their favorite geek lust after neighbor Laura, transform himself into Stephan Urkél, and continuously knock over and break things in the Winslow household.

Continued in Featured Steves, Plate 8

Featured Steve

Stevie The Cat

In an ongoing effort to break the animal barrier, The Axis of Stevil would like to salute you, Stevie The Cat!

Continued in Featured Steves, Plate 10

ST/EVIL

It was the best of times...

Continued in Comics, Plate 14

ST/EVIL

Where does the money come from?

Continued in Comics, Plate 13

Language

"axiom"

ax·i·om; n

A self-evident or universally recognized truth; a maxim
An established rule, principle, or law.
A self-evident principle or one that is accepted as true without proof as the basis for argument; a postulate.

"Fortune cookies rank in the one hundreth percentile in a survey about axioms."

axiom

Ask Stevil

Who is the kid on the Fat Kid T-shirt? He's totally fat.

- Jim "Lumpy" Watson

Dear Lumpy Watson,

While everybody has within them an inner fat kid, the one true Fat Kid who modeled for the shirt is none other then the Axis's own resident "Power Fatkid" JR, You can reach him through the AOS forums or send a carrier pigeon to roust #2, AOS Norway.

Regards,
The Axis of Stevil

Who is the kid on the Fat Kid T-shirt? He's totally fat.

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