Meanwhile A small plane crashes beside the Reichstag in BerlinMicrosoft names its next Windows: VistaLance Armstrong wins a seventh straight Tour de France and retiresPresident Bush nominates John Roberts to the Supreme CourtChina lets the yuan rise for the first time in a decade
The week of Monday, July 18, 2005 Jul 18–24, 2005 Week of Mon, Jul 18–24, 2005
Google Zords
Vol. I • No. 16 10 new works
Publications
Lighter Side Of Animal Testing
Animals can only get so many jobs in the modern work force. Being far too brute for the boardroom and too Madison Avenue for the farmhouse, the "working Joe” animal is seen fit for only the fast food industry, Vonage tech support, and product testing. There is a vast conspiracy in this country to keep the animal kingdom relegated to the farm and forest. America is being brainwashed to deny animals the right to work. Animal cruelty groups would like you to think that animals are neglected and treated horribly in cages. This is certainly not the case! The lighter side of animal testing is that it is one of the few jobs where animals are treated as equals.
HotDog
Publications
The Lesser Of Two Googles
Personal privacy is being eroded by mans ever growing ability to index and search his universe. Google, a pioneer in efficient web surfing now aims to help you find everything! How does Google hope to accomplish this? The solution was simple, constant 24-hour surveillance of the human race.
Fueled by sandwiches and a profitable initial public offer, Google developed the googlites, an orbiting ring of high tech surveillance and market research machines. By monitoring your every position Google can give you direction anywhere, recommend a close by restaurant, and make sure you see specially tailored electronic Google ad boards.
All this surveillance leads many concerned people to the brink of paranoia fearing that Google is in complete control of their life. These people suffer from what is known as Hananoba-phobia, or fear of being crushed by an invisible enemy. Google's quick adoption into the culture from its relative obscurity has startled many, kindling a new generation of hananobaphobics.
While it is not clear at this time Google's intentions, its recent software releases has made it clear that beyond your doorstep the whole world is watching.
Publications
When The Well Ran Dry
The greatest fighting force since Voltron, The Mighty Morphing Power Rangers hit the scene and rose to popularity faster then the speed of an agoraphobic falling from a tall building! Once their fifteen minutes of fame was over, what happened to the once beloved Rangers, and their slave driver, Zordon? Did Tommy and Kimberly ever get it together? Sadly when the well ran dry, hard times befell on, not only the Rangers themselves but, the communities they lived.
The Megazord requires a staff of 117 specially assigned mechanics, 25 System Analysts, and 4 full time Custom detailers. This operation was run with administrative overhead out of The Production Company "Zordon Industrial Dinosaur and Croissant Inc." When production could no longer continue do to lack of funding, an entire community of people was condemned to the unemployment line. There are few openings in the Dino-tech field, with the industry seeing a server reduction as more and more companies switch to Fjord Dino-plastic Designs.
Look for an Axis of Stevil T-shirt Pavilion at Zord-Aid, the alt-rock music festival benefiting the victims of the power rangers collapse.
Language
"imperceptible"
im·per·cep·ti·ble; adj..
- Impossible or difficult to perceive by the mind or senses:
- So subtle, slight, or gradual as to be barely perceptible
"The lion krept up to its prey, making gentle foot steps to reinforce his imperceptible presence."
Extras
Superpositioning
Ask Stevil
if two negatives make a positive, then why dont two wrongs make a right?
the fat kid
Dear Fat Kiddy,
Right and wrong are metaphysical creations that try to describe the spirit. They are completely independent from both mathematical theorems and covalent attractions. You have however been grossly misinformed. Please consult this official Axis of Stevil proof sheet
Regards,
The Axis of Stevil
If two negatives make a positive, then why dont two wrongs make a right?
Also this week
Tune of the Week
-Phoenix, AZ
About Johnny Marnell
Johnny Marnell first fell in love with the guitar in second grade and has been faithful ever since. Music has been his best friend and number one passion for as long as he can remember, and his quality of work demonstrates his love of the art form. Johnny sees music, namely, the live performance, as a two-way street; if the audience isn’t having fun, neither is he. His goal is to make music to nod heads to, whether from appreciation or involuntarily grooving with the supplied funk. He is an energetic performer, with hips and legs moving almost as much as hands and mouth –playing and singing is second nature fun to him, and the effect is downright contagious.
Vol. I · No. 16 · Jul 18–24, 2005