Meanwhile Edinburgh scientists breed the first genetically modified chickensNBC cancels its last soap opera, PassionsBritain is appalled by the racism shown to Shilpa Shetty on Celebrity Big BrotherThe Doomsday Clock moves to five minutes to midnightStorm Kyrill kills more than 40 across western Europe

The week of Monday, January 15, 2007 Jan 15–19, 2007 Week of Mon, Jan 15–19, 2007

Insufferable, but true MLK

Vol. III • No. 88 3 new works

Publications

Sadiler, But True

Mindy

This morning, 18 year-old Mindy Sadlier, was arrested for 16 counts of animal cruelty and attempted assault on a police officer. Sadlier was found living alone in her dilapidated single-bedroom home. Authorities discovered Sadlier’s parents died fourteen years ago in a freak turkey fryer mishap and has been living alone with the family’s German Shepard, Buttons, ever since.

Officer Beard E. Head arrived at Sadlier’s residence after two hikers stumbled upon her home through a thicket outside city limits. After further investigation, the pair discovered Buttons, who was in dreadful condition, and immediately called police. Officer Head shortly arrived to the scene and entered Sadler’s house to find her inside.

“I asked to see her identification, to which she replied ‘Why?’” explains Officer Head. “I told her I needed to know who she was, and again she asked why. This continued until I demanded she cooperate.” The two eventually stepped outside to Officer Head’s cruiser. “When I told her that I would have to get East Shore Animal Control to take Buttons, she became violent. She took my nightstick from my belt and swung it while screaming, ‘Go away, Beardy-Head!’ and ‘I hate you, Lady!’ It was clear that Mindy had suffered some serious post-traumatic stress after she went missing when her parents passed. I really feel bad for the girl, but at least she’s going to get help after she serves jail time.”

As for Buttons, the 92 dog-year-old German Shepard has been taken into special foster care. If you wish to adopt a loving dog or cat, please contact the East Shore Animal Shelter at (402) 801-9676 or (402) 801-WORM.

Language

"Myopic"

my·op·ic; adj.

  1. Shortsighted; lacking foresight; narrow-minded.

"Americans' behavior towards national holidays tends to be myopic."

Myopic

Tune of the Week

Carolina Still

“Go Your Own Way”

Carolina Still

Featured Sep 4, 2006 – Jan 26, 2007

carolinastill.net

J. Alan Casey finger picks and strums the banjo to give a hard-edged bluegrass sound while J. Robert Norman aggressively strums the guitar, rock-n-roll style, while stomping out a beat on a homemade stomp box. Casey also adds the percussion of a hi-hat. Bassist Eric G. Holmes rounds out the sound with his flowing lines on the upright bass.

J. Allan Casey - Banjo, Vocals, Kazoo, Percussion
J. Robert Norman - Guitar, Vocals, Harmonica, Percussion
Eric G. Holmes - Upright Bass

From the archive

  1. Tempus Fugit 10.21.05
  2. Stephen Hawking 08.05.05
  3. The New Age Of Villainy 07.15.05
  4. Case Study No. 2004341-919 07.06.05
  5. Mammoth 05.20.05
  6. See Yourself On A New Model D 05.18.05

Vol. III · No. 88 · Jan 15–19, 2007