Meanwhile Elvis tops the list of highest-earning dead celebrities for a fifth yearThe White Sox win their first World Series since 1917President Bush names Ben Bernanke to succeed Alan Greenspan at the FedRosa Parks dies at 92Scooter Libby resigns after his indictment in the CIA leak case
The week of Monday, October 24, 2005 Oct 24–28, 2005 Week of Mon, Oct 24–28, 2005
It's Your Line Adoption Capistrano
Vol. I • No. 30 7 new works
Publications
Never Forget Capistrano
"The bird menace is coming! Soon you or someone you know could be the next victim of an attack! Who knows? Maybe you might look up and see the swallows in formation preparing to cluster bomb your house! We must never forget the lessons learned in Capistrano! If you give birds an opening, they will streak without mercy!
Those who scoff off this warning will find themselves in a whirlwind of snapping beaks. The bird has a love for the taste of human flesh, and using sharp beak movements he can rip off a chunk of your arm and swallow it. You won't even know what’s going on until it's far too late.
Extras
A Haiku
dryer sheets smell
fresh
easily caught in
lint trap
costly house fire
From the Offices
Committed To Community Service
The Axis of Stevil, in its ongoing mission to support Local Art, Music and Community, has opened its doors to a City Street in Greenville, NC. Because actions speak louder than words, The Axis of Stevil has taken a stand to go out and keep this street clean. If you are interested in volunteering to join The Axis in this mission of environmental help, please contact us. The dates of the cleanups will be posted in our Community Section. Everyone and anyone is welcome to participate.
We are doing our part. Are you?
Speed of Ground
Speed of Ground
Language
"cromulent"
kram·u·lent; adj.
- Expression used to legitimize another expression of dubious existence. Used in the ironic sense in that it defends the questionable use of an illigitimate or slang word with another made-up expression. The intent of the phrase is generally used in conjunction with insults to high talkers, english majors and otherwise insufferable people who feel the need to correct others. Often accompanied by a punch to the stomach.
"The "
Extras
1st ANNUAL "IT'S YOUR LINE " STAND-UP CONTEST
Thursday October 27, 2005 marked the first day in the local Comedy Revolution set to grow in Greenville, NC. Armed with jokes, gestures, and body odor, five contestants squared off in front of three judges and a REALLY bright light to compete in the greatest dual since that last dual. The competitors delivered seven minutes of hilarity to a large audience of comedy ethusiasts. Three judges scored the contest and announced Josh Smith as the winner of the contest and $100 cash prize! All of the competitors did a fantastic job and deserve our support and admiration for doing what they do so well. The show was hosted by Corey Brown and put together by everyones favorite, The SWASH Improv. Congratulations Josh and thanks to everyone who went. It was a great turnout and I am glad to see thsi environment growing so rapidly.
A few pictures of the evening:
Josh Smith - Winner of 1st Annual "It's Your Line" Stand-Up Comedy Contest
Tune of the Week
Hailing from Wilmington, North Carolina "The Varsity is redefining the genres of punk, emo, and pop". The band is currently on tour and recently made an appearance in Greenville, NC at The Rock for Relief (Benefit Concert for Katrina Victims)
Ben Fleetwood - Vocals
Scott Baker - Guitar/Vocals
Derek Eichmann - Bass
Andy Mosley - Guitar
Nick Martin - Drums
From the archive
Vol. I · No. 30 · Oct 24–28, 2005