Meanwhile Adwaitya the tortoise, said to have belonged to Clive of India, dies at about 250Vladimir Putin visits the Shaolin TempleHannah Montana airs its first episodeETA declares a permanent ceasefire after 38 yearsCyclone Larry flattens Innisfail in Queensland
The week of Monday, March 20, 2006 Mar 20–24, 2006 Week of Mon, Mar 20–24, 2006
Hippie Peanut
Vol. II • No. 48 3 new works
Publications
Stink No Longer
Do you suspect your friend or communal life partner is suffering from the debilitating symptoms of Peltmegaly? Commonly known as 'Long-Hairs' or 'Hippiedom', Peltmegaly affects 400,000 Americans every year. Increase your hypochondria and know the symptoms of Peltegaly: severe and often crippling litharge, dementia and a noxious miasma. Though rarely fatal, chromic sufferers have problems holding down jobs and interacting in normal society.
The path to recovery for Peltmegalians is a long and often emotionally trying. The first step is to intervene. Most hippies don't know they are suffering, or how bad they smell. Many find it hard to communicate with people on "the wavy gravy" due to their nonsensical ramblings and oblivious stares.
Marvel Us
Ask Stevil
How come twenty six year olds are so clingy, cant they just have sex and move on like all the other singles out there?
~Goober
Dear Goober:
First of all, why are you dating a kindergarten class? With twenty six year olds, one might grow tired of the constant chirp of their voices or non-stop pestering over GI JOE or Legos, if the constant barrage of trivial questions and statements pooring from their mouths doesnt kill you first. The fact of the matter remains that six year olds usually don't participate in sexual relations either, therefore they are incapable of "having sex and moving on like all the other singles out there."
Usually relationships often stretch thin around a lack of communication and high expectations with sub par behavior. These problems can usually be exterminated by constant open communication. If you retain certain expectations about space, bedroom life, behavior, language, then grab a a chalkboard and let the diagrams do the talking. Explain and layout your expectations and intentions in the current relationship. By doing this, you provide your relationship partner , whether they be six or ninety-eight years old, with direct insight into what you are looking for and then can clearly understand what it is they can or will do in regarding them. If you need more space, tell them. Show them what you are looking for.
This communication can often be tedious and uncomfortable, but in the end each person knows what the other is looking for and any consequences are understood and accepted by all.
Regards,
The Axis of Stevil
Tune of the Week
Based in Greenville, North Carolina, Katharsis’s highly melodic and entertaining rock broke through the music scene in 2005. The band was originally formed in 2000 by Garret Bissonnette, who had moved to Greenville for education, and Patrick Spohr. Bissonnette and Spohr were later joined by drummer Cory Granger, and bassist Eric Pyburn. They began a non-stop gigging schedule on the local rock circuit.While appearing in the “Battle of The Bands” August 2005 Katharsis found front man Ean Hirst. Just after three months of writing, the band’s self-released single “Climb The World” hit the streets. The band’s popularity continues to grow, owing to support slots with several leading musicians. The band developed a reputation for being respectable with a very professional manner while producing a steady flow of new material.
Ean Hirst - Vocals
Garett Bissonnette - Guitar/Vocals
Patrick Spohr - Guitar
Eric Pyburn - Bass
Cory Granger - Drums
Thurston Z. Pig reports a show with Katharsis.
From the archive
Vol. II · No. 48 · Mar 20–24, 2006