Meanwhile Six men in a London drug trial end up in intensive care within hoursQueen Elizabeth opens the Commonwealth Games in MelbourneBeijing's richest man is sentenced to death for a contract killingA cash-for-honours scandal breaks around Tony BlairThe UN General Assembly creates a Human Rights Council
The week of Monday, March 13, 2006 Mar 13–17, 2006 Week of Mon, Mar 13–17, 2006
Viewers Choice Awards
Vol. II • No. 47 5 works, 0 new
Classic Stevil · from November 16, 2005
Beloved Fish Tycoon Dies
Arthur T Watercrest, the greatest known trout investor, has died. The industry baron was found fried, filleted and covered in mayonnaise in a South Littleton Red Lobster. Had wait staff not noticed the deep fried remains of his monocle, the plutocrat fish surely would have been eaten. What is left of the body has been returned to the Watercrest Estate. A crowd of 2000+ guests is expected to be in attendance at tonight’s memorial service of the world’s greatest fish.
Rising from The Clearwater Orphanage and Hatchery, Arthur Tiberius Watercrest was given nothing in this world. At the tender age of two, he made the leap out of his hatchery and into the work force.
Classic Stevil · from July 29, 2005
Full House: Wrath Of Tanner
A superior hand is the true mark of the warrior. Trump your magical opponents with a card pulled from the "Full House: Wrath of Tanner" Magic Expansion pack! Decimate any adversary with the might of this Miller-Boyett production!
Sparked by the memory of his dead-ass-wife, Danny Tanner toyed with the powers of the ethereal range. Hoping to use the black arts to revive his soul mate, he summoned the dark Lord Burgerler one memorable September night.
VIEWERS CHOICE AWARDS · from June 20, 2005
Get Your Heart Off Your Sleeve And Back On Your Bumper
Get your heart off your sleeve and back on your bumper this week. Are you aware of your needs to express your inner self, but feel alienated by the lack of people reading and responding to your blog, Xanga, or My Space journal? Do you feel people belittle your feelings because you’re too lazy to move a pencil,and write a diary? Express your Pro-Blogging sentiments by slapping this snazzy bumper sticker to your car. Communication is the key to changing someone’s mind. The average human being has 14.3 mind-blowing revelations sitting at stoplights across America. The Axis of Stevil advises you to take your message to the source of new beginnings with bumper stickers decals and large stuffed animals.
GET YOUR VERY OWN AXIS OF STEVIL BLOGGING STICKER AT THE AXIS OF COMMERCE
Classic Stevil · from January 9, 2006
Not As Good As 'the Original'
It started as an anonymous tip called in from the Wacky Land and House of Pancakes. The tip led authorities to the Hillcrest Trailer Park, home of Shirley the Loon. Hearing shouts, the police entered the home to find Ms. Loon and her boyfriend, Gogo Dodo, injecting large amounts of KLOVAAH!-XIN, a Rheumatic arthritis drug that works as a steroid in toons.
The couple had made news recently as stars of the 371st Laugh Olympics, the annual trialthlon between Acme Looniversity and Perfecto Prep. Both Gogo and Shirley had set records in the 10m Head Toss and Anvil Lift, These results have been heavily contested by Perfecto Prep since the discovery of steroid use.
Classic Stevil · from May 11, 2005
Battle The Odds
There are any number of lessons you can learn by playing Guess Who. Truly, the fine Parker Brothers did it right… finally. Their first attempt at social commentary “Where are all the black people?” concentration was received less than favorable on the board game circuit. Guess Who offers every now and then players a most unfair of challenges. To be black and a women. As soon as the card is in your hand you feel singled out. The card that is in two narrow categories by itself. Double the trouble in the game and far to often in life.
The parker brothers sought to create a game that subtly illustrated the social problems of the world by making them the hardest challenges in the game, from the plight of hat wearing people, to the pattern bald skinny white guy.
Tune of the Week
Based in Greenville, North Carolina, Katharsis’s highly melodic and entertaining rock broke through the music scene in 2005. The band was originally formed in 2000 by Garret Bissonnette, who had moved to Greenville for education, and Patrick Spohr. Bissonnette and Spohr were later joined by drummer Cory Granger, and bassist Eric Pyburn. They began a non-stop gigging schedule on the local rock circuit.While appearing in the “Battle of The Bands” August 2005 Katharsis found front man Ean Hirst. Just after three months of writing, the band’s self-released single “Climb The World” hit the streets. The band’s popularity continues to grow, owing to support slots with several leading musicians. The band developed a reputation for being respectable with a very professional manner while producing a steady flow of new material.
Ean Hirst - Vocals
Garett Bissonnette - Guitar/Vocals
Patrick Spohr - Guitar
Eric Pyburn - Bass
Cory Granger - Drums
Thurston Z. Pig reports a show with Katharsis.
From the archive
Vol. II · No. 47 · Mar 13–17, 2006