Meanwhile Sony BMG recalls every CD it sold with secret copy-protection softwareJapan's Princess Nori marries a commoner and leaves the imperial familyAustralia qualifies for the World Cup for the first time since 1974The Xbox 360 goes on sale in the United StatesGermany's parties approve the coalition deal that makes Angela Merkel chancellor
The week of Monday, November 14, 2005 Nov 14–18, 2005 Week of Mon, Nov 14–18, 2005
Trout Bean Boob Commercial
Vol. I • No. 33 8 new works
Publications
Beloved Fish Tycoon Dies
Arthur T Watercrest, the greatest known trout investor, has died. The industry baron was found fried, filleted and covered in mayonnaise in a South Littleton Red Lobster. Had wait staff not noticed the deep fried remains of his monocle, the plutocrat fish surely would have been eaten. What is left of the body has been returned to the Watercrest Estate. A crowd of 2000+ guests is expected to be in attendance at tonight’s memorial service of the world’s greatest fish.
Rising from The Clearwater Orphanage and Hatchery, Arthur Tiberius Watercrest was given nothing in this world. At the tender age of two, he made the leap out of his hatchery and into the work force.
Publications
Look Out Hollywood!
The comings and goings of another person’s life used to be a mystery. With video proliferation and the Internet, the ability to plug the world into your reality is now at your fingertips. Whether it’s grandma in the dunk tank at the county fair, or your impromptu karaoke jam session, all the world is a stage. Thanks to “You Boob!”, now you can exhibit private moments of buffoonery to almost anyone.
Production values, scripts and forethoughts are a thing of the past. Our reclusive and voyeuristic tendencies have created a sub culture of people who find excitement in off-the-cuff hilarity of this new "reality" television.
From the Offices
Commercial
Extras
Committed To Community Service
Next Cleanup Date:
Saturday August 19th, 2006 @ 3:00pm
Please contact The Axis of Stevil if you would like to sign-up to volunteer for street cleanup. All are welcome to take part in the funnest community service. Also mention if you need transportation or not.
Extras
Stevemolians: Looming On The Horizon
At this very moment monkeys are working diligently to man the mold setters at the first Mint of Stevil. They are producing a coin that is good for both fun and prizes! The Stevemolian is the first minting ever released by a major name. The silver, quarter-sized token is exchanged for promotion of Steves in any venue!
The Stevemolian initiative is a long overdue reward for simple things.
Before:
If you were inadvertently prompted for directions, and aid a lost Steve, you would receive nothing for efforts!
After:
If you were to help a fallen Steve back to his feet, receive good karma and tokens*!
Stevemolian tokens can be earned for doing any number of simple things to aid and support Steves. Telling a friend about Stevilzation, sharing smiles with a Steve, or chatting with a Steve would earn you one token. Referring a satellite Steve to your local Stevlization Center earns you three tokens.
The reward sheet is still in committee and is restricted to Steves with Level M Security Clearance. Stay tuned for details, as they are made available.
* - Tokens are better than pogs.
Extras
Community
Emerge Gallery Presents:
"Enemies"
A Screenplay ReadingThursday, November 17th, 2005
7:00 pm
404 S. Evans Street
(Downtown Greenville)
Emerge Gallery and Art Center invites you to the screenplay reading of "Enemies" on Thursday, November 17th at 7:00 p.m. Admission is free.
Lucas Bombay has it all -- a beautiful wife, a nice home and a recent promotion to lieutenant and a desk job in Vice. That all changes when a crack addict knocks on his door and sends everything he's worked so hard for spiraling into chaos. Now, Luke can trust no one -- not his wife, not his old college friend and former Vice partner, maybe not even himself. Especially not after he kills his mistress ... or does he? Luke is forced to examine his life, his reasons for being a police officer, everything that makes up his identity as a man. The surreal question erupts in this psychological mystery when Luke must face the most basic of questions: who am I? Is it paranoia when you see enemies all around you, or is it even more grim when your own worst enemy may be yourself?
Emerge Gallery is a non-profit art center that offers rotating exhibitions, a performance and film series, and an eclectic sales gallery. Visit Emerge Gallery Tuesday-Saturday from 11-6 p.m. at 404 S. Evans Street.
Ask Stevil
How do Mexican Jumping Beans jump?
Thanks.
A Friend
Dear A,
The Mexican jumping bean is an impatient and energetic creature; No matter how early he wakes up he feels that he is 15 min late. The bean in a frantic trance will jump about looking at his watch wondering why he wasn't getting "there" fast enough.
Jumping beans may not be tasty to eat, but they are great for a rainy day science project. Gather 5 beans into a jar. And put them in into a freezer. Wait 15min, the cold air will slow the rate of the bean to a halt. While frozen tie a string to the leg of your beans. Leave them out on the table to thaw. When they reach room temperature again you will have a jumping bean on a leash, ready to take for stroll about your house.
Regards,
The Axis of Stevil
Also this week
Tune of the Week
JUGGERNAUT means "Lord of this World"; an unstoppable force moving across the landscape. The band formed in the year 2000, located out of Spartanburg,S.C. in the "Heart" of Dixie. Southern Beer Metal is how the bands brew-n-whiskey soaked songs are described.
Marcus Lineberry - Vocals
Cashew - Guitar/Vocals
Benji Lineberry - Bass
Donnie Rash - Drums
From the archive
Vol. I · No. 33 · Nov 14–18, 2005