Meanwhile Google bans BMW's website for cheating its search rankingsAn atheist who sued a priest for claiming Jesus existed loses his caseAn intact pharaoh's-era tomb is found in the Valley of the Kings, the first since Tutankhamun'sStephen Harper is sworn in as Canada's prime ministerSenate hearings open on the NSA's warrantless wiretaps
The week of Monday, February 6, 2006 Feb 6–10, 2006 Week of Mon, Feb 6–10, 2006
Kwame Gluttoxipawn
Vol. II • No. 42 5 new works
Publications
Better Living Through Chemicals
With $4.95 and a will to conquer, you can get your hands on enough scaroel to control five people. What is scaroel? It’s an extract from the Clary sage (Salvia) that has been used as a mind control agent in cigarettes and perfumes for the past 50 years. It is made from the process of mixing large quantities of the sage with hexidine. A 1gram mass of concentrated scaroel, when ingested, inhaled or even looked at under the right lighting, is thought to lessen a subject's ability to think independently; thus dulling any desires to question ideas presented to them. In larger doses (5-15grams) the compound can completely dumb a subject to a ‘Zombie-like' state.
Marvel Us
Publications
Tax Break!
Tax season is once again upon us. Distinguishable by the annual reprinting of HASBEEN’s Best Seller, "20,001 of Kwame’s Favorite Accounting Tips & Secrets". If you are fiduciary challenged, consider what the jacket of the book has to say.
"20,001 of Kwame’s Favorite Accounting Tips & Secrets" is a powerhouse of money saving ideas, loopholes, and incentives guaranteed to make your day more rewarding.
This financial omni-guide contains useful facts to increase your wallet size, such as:
- Oklahomans can receive a $43 tax credit for planting an evergreen tree.
- Rhode Island Landfills will accept your used lemon peels for 25 cents per ounce.
- Vermont residents can write off 10% of their total maple syrup expenses, since they made it.
Featured Steve
Steven Segal
Theres comes a time in every Steves' life where he is confused for this man, for that The Axis of Stevil bows to you, Steven Segal!
Language
"resistentialism"
rezis-'ten-chê-li-zêm; n.
- The theory that inanimate objects demonstrate hostile behavior against us.
"The body of resistentialism activist, James Finley, was found murdered, next to a box of q-tips, in his apartment this morning."
Tune of the Week
With experience with several bands, open mics and life on the road, Brad Benson has proven himself as a true musician. Attending college at East Carolina University for Graphic Design, he made it his business to know what was going on in the local music scene. His solo acoustic show has been entertaining audiences from all over Eastern North Carolina for years.
Recently The Axis of Stevil's own Thurston Z. Pig attended a show with Brad Benson.
From the archive
Vol. II · No. 42 · Feb 6–10, 2006