Gnome KlovAAH!-Xin Chik Fil A — Issue No. 38

Meanwhile Howard Stern moves to satellite radio after 30 years on the airThe Phantom of the Opera overtakes Cats as Broadway's longest-running showThe man who threw a grenade at President Bush in Tbilisi is convictedMehmet Ali Ağca, who shot Pope John Paul II in 1981, walks freeA CIA airstrike aimed at Ayman al-Zawahiri hits a Pakistani village

Publications

Not Another A Gnome Movie

It was a wildly sorted affair in the village of Wickerbriar. David the Gnome a respected doctor and community leader was exposed as fathering an illegitimate child with the young Lisa Curvet, a 175-year-old gnome. At one point farmer Kurvalt, Lisa’s troll stepfather, had threatened to eat David should he ever get near his daughter. With nothing else to do, David fled town one summer’s January night. Accompanied by his oldest friend, Swift, the pair set out to seek their fortunes and find their future in the wild world.

So begins the many misadventures of a gnome:

Chapter the 24th: "Escobar" and Monty.

The sun rose on Swift and David, passed out in a large meadow of tall grasses and poppies.

Continued in Publications, Plate 69

Publications

Not As Good As 'the Original'

It started as an anonymous tip called in from the Wacky Land and House of Pancakes. The tip led authorities to the Hillcrest Trailer Park, home of Shirley the Loon. Hearing shouts, the police entered the home to find Ms. Loon and her boyfriend, Gogo Dodo, injecting large amounts of KLOVAAH!-XIN, a Rheumatic arthritis drug that works as a steroid in toons.

The couple had made news recently as stars of the 371st Laugh Olympics, the annual trialthlon between Acme Looniversity and Perfecto Prep. Both Gogo and Shirley had set records in the 10m Head Toss and Anvil Lift, These results have been heavily contested by Perfecto Prep since the discovery of steroid use.

Continued in Publications, Plate 68

Marvel Us

marvelus

Marvel Us 01.13.06

Language

"ameliorate"

a·mel·io·rate; v.

To make or become better; improve

"Amelia Bedelia ameliorates memorabellia."

ameliorate

Straight to DVD

Gnomes Gone Wild!

gnomesgonecrazy

Tragedy Strikes

chikfila

Featured Steve

Steve Smith

In an ongoing effort to promote the telling of a great story and providing a great American legend with life, The Axis of Stevil shines its spotlight on the namesake Steve Smith!

Continued in Featured Steves, Plate 22

Ask Stevil

Why is Cheerwine made only in North and South Carolina?

Your #1 fan

Dear main air-conditioning unit,

The answer to this inquiry is located deep within the Axis of Stevil History Texts. Hold the flaming stick and watch your step.

The answer takes us all the way back to the year 1917, smack-dab in the middle of World War I. Europe, as a whole, was taking quite a beating during this period. The price of food skyrocketed and rations were entirely too small to sustain our over-seas citizens. Due to the lack of food, these people suffered chemical imbalances within their brains, which were proven to be early detections of bipolar disorder (or Xanga Fuel, as it is referred to in modern terms).

The United States had declared war against Germany earlier in the year, so Europe looked to us for aid with their indigent, famished individuals. The United States gladly took these people into refuge and stationed them into asylums located in North and South Carolina. However, the nurses and doctors noticed that these people, having suffered malnourishment, produced abnormal brain activity. They quickly developed a treatment called "Cheer-Whine" to represent both stages of bipolar disorder. Not only did "Cheer-Whine" alleviate the irregular brain ailments, it was quite tasty to boot. Once the Europeans were returned safely, the developers of this delicious drug decided to capitalize their creation. With a quick name change, the modern-day Cheerwine was unveiled.

askstevilcheerwhine